To preface this post, I understand that many people are going through much worse right now than my lost Fulbright year, but this is my little space to process.

I have been home for three weeks now, a scary thought considering I can barely remember the first one (too many tears?). This has been probably the most emotionally confusing and exhausting experience of my life.

I had less than 24 hours between finding out our grants were terminated – with no possibility of reinstatement – and leaving for the airport to board my flight from Curitiba to São Paulo. My last six hours in Brazil were spent alone, as my co-ETA’s had to leave even earlier, walking through my neighborhood and admiring the wild and beautiful plants that grow out of every sidewalk crack, up every wall, and just how much personality and life is packed into every single block.

After two years of learning Portuguese on my own, researching Brazil, applying, and waiting – I had barely enough time to say goodbye to our wonderful host professors, and no time to say goodbye to students, my university, yoga studio, and other friends I had made. I felt like I was back in the US after going through customs in São Paulo, which was quite frankly extremely jarring and heartbreaking. Suddenly there was no more need to use Portuguese, which I finally was feeling comfortable and confident in using. The mannerisms of people/workers and even flight attendants were shocking as I transitioned from all things Brazilian to American. Being “home” now too has been confusing. Five weeks is not a long time to be somewhere, but I had been building a home in Brazil, fully prepared to be there for nine months. Now I watch from afar – hoping for the best – as the virus work it’s way through there. The country was almost completely untouched while I was still there.

My heart is aching for the lost experience, all the moments of discovery in the classroom that I will not be there to witness, the language and teaching practice, and the opportunity to explore and converse and travel with my interesting and wonderful Fulbright friends. In a strange way, I am aching as well for the person I may have become had I had nine full months to myself to travel and grown and learn.

I am not sure what will come next, especially since this particular step in my life had been so clear to me for years. I have been dreaming of applying for a Fulbright since my years at Graham & Parks, and teaching English abroad since my time in Italy. Five weeks was not enough time to make my decision on pursuing a masters in ed, and certainly not enough time to address the law school question (but definitely enough time to raise it!)

Currently, Lauren and I are teaching four online classes to some of our students in Curitiba, which they will actually get credit for and gives me a small opportunity to dig into the work I would have done in Brazil. In addition, I will be mentoring and tutoring a Brazilian high school student, one of 18 chosen out of 3,000, as they go through the entire application process for US colleges and universities. Aside from that, I am looking into a couple of volunteering positions with NGO’s in Brazil (when travel permits). I am also designing a curriculum for myself to study Latin American politics and history (book recommendations welcome again) – there is so much to learn, and I sadly realized in my short time in South America just how little the greater international community turns it’s attention there.

I am also discovering some of the privileges of American democracy – I had my first experience contacting my congressman, who actually called me back and is doing a small part to put movement behind reinstating Fulbrighters who lost their experience this year in the next round in 2021. A few members of my ETA cohort also wrote personal statements, detailing the work we had begun, to the Fulbright Commission in Brazil. Much of this will likely amount in a dead end, but nonetheless, it feels good to try. I am not ready to close this chapter without the opportunity to even truly begin.

To close, I am incredibly grateful for the time I had in Brazil. I could not feel more confident in having made the decision to pursue this country, it’s people, language, and energy. Every single person I met reaffirmed all the work I put in to be there. I am so thankful for these five very special weeks, and the doors it has opened, though I am not sure yet what they are.

Below are some of my last unpublished pictures, mostly from my last week or so.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart to all those who read along with me during my time in Brasil, the most alive, colorful, and vibrant country I have ever had the privilege to experience. I hope to pick back up as soon as I can.

Beijinhos e abraços pra todos vocês.

Claire

PS. If you want to experience a little bit of the energy and love that is so much of Brazil, here are a few of my favorite songs:

“A Cor é Rosa” – Silva

“Trevo” – Ana Vitória

“Outrória” – Ana Vitória

“Ai Amor” – Ana Vitória

“Pra Vida Inteira” – Silva

“Beleza Rara” Ao Vivo – Silva

“Uma Brasileira” Ao Vivo – Silva

“Meia Lua Inteira” (Capoeira Larara) Ao Vivo – Silva

“Pra Sonhar” – Marcelo Jeneci

“Aquarela” – Toquinho

Bom dia gente! I am making some progress settling in Curitiba. I had a few minor setbacks this week and came back from Carnaval with a fever that I actually had a much harder time recovering from than normal – it turns out Curitiba is at 3,067ft. (Who knew? I really should have Googled this before I left). I have never lived above sea level before, so this is a bit of an interesting experience. It is nice to have an answer as to why I have struggled a lot when trying to run, and frequently get headaches that are only curable with Gatorade. A bunch of ETA’s were thinking of doing a half marathon in Florianópolis in June, and I may have to pass if I don’t adjust better. If you have any tips, please let me know!

In other news… we now have an apartment, a schedule, and I’ve figured out my side project!! (I will likely have a few as there’s so many things I want to try). We move into our new place April 1st, which feels like a small setback because we are so excited to settle, but our current place is very nice and comfortable so it’s all okay. Lauren and I will be living together and are searching for a third roommate – we are hoping for a female Brazilian or exchange student. The new place will be just a 15 minute walk from work, and close to the two other ETA’s in Curitiba.

Lauren and I will be leading intermediate and advanced conversation clubs, and teaching our “extension courses” at night. I will be leading a book club and a debate club, working on both speaking and writing (book recommendations would also be helpful!) Lauren will be doing a class on American arts & culture and a film club, and together we will be hosting an Environmental Club and a few workshops on American summer camps. One night a week we will take Portuguese classes, and we have Friday afternoons off to travel after teaching a US culture class in the morning!

Last week we went to see the capybaras at Parque Barigui. They live all over our state of Paraná.

Side project news!

As for my side project…… I will be doing my 200hr yoga teacher training!!!! In Portuguese! This has been a dream of mine for a few years now, and I finally have enough free time to do it. My wonderful mentor, who was here in Curitiba as an ETA for the past two years, really paved the way for me and found the perfect studio. It’s called Gaya Bem-Estar, and is located in a beautiful neighborhood called Juvêve. The training will give me an international certification, primarily focused on vinyasa (my favorite) but will qualify me to teach all types of yoga. It’s one weekend a month the whole time I am here, from 8am-5pm Sat & Sun. And it starts this upcoming weekend! The lead teacher speaks English, so I have a fallback if needed, and said I can do my homework for the training in English if I need or want to. But this will be a wonderful learning opportunity to improve my Portuguese, and no one at the studio seemed to think my level of Portuguese would be a problem at all which is exciting.

Last weekend, I went to meet the director, and last night I went to see the lead teacher of the course as she led a special meditation class for women to celebrate the full moon and feminine energy – uma aula especial para as mulheres e a lua cheia. It was outside, lit mostly by candlelight, and they had someone playing guitar. They spoke about the significance of the full moon for women and women’s bodies, and it was so beautiful. I understood almost everything (mais o menos), and I think my comprehension has improved significantly just in the past four weeks. I am really excited to have found a little piece of Brazil to explore and grow in by myself.

Below are a few photos from the class, and a few others of the studio during the day from the first time I visited.

And here are a few more photos of Curitiba since returning from Rio… There is a group of volunteers who organize events for foreigners, and they hosted a welcome week this past week. We went to a pub crawl with them last Thursday, and are going to a pool party this Saturday. There are a few people from France and Mexico, and no one from the US. The other photos were mostly taken around our neighborhood, Batel.

I’m sending lots of love (and sunshine!) home to everyone in the US. We don’t hear much about the coronavirus here in Brazil, but I am thinking of everyone and hoping everyone is doing okay. Beijinhos pra vcs xx

Oi gente!! We are back from Rio, the cidade maravilhosa, and I am already feeling saudades. Saudades is one of the most beautiful and untranslatable words in Portuguese. An ETA’s blog I found from a few years ago did a really good job explaining it so I’m going to steal it – rather than translating to “I miss you [or something],” saudades would translate more roughly to “I have the absence of you.” You can feel saudades for something or someone you have never known. This word on it’s own is part of my argument for why Portuguese is the most beautiful language…..

Rio and Carnaval were something else. The energy of Rio is incredible; the city is vibrant, beautiful, alive, and happy. Carnaval consists of bloco’s (block parties) that happen pretty much anywhere, sometimes on actual streets or beaches, or sometimes taking over entire city landmarks. We went to a one at the Museu de Arte Moderno, which we paid R$20 for, and another at Rio’s Jardim Botânico. Most are free, and all felt very safe. Some starting as early as 7 or 8am, and they all actually end on time – the police will roll in and end the party and the vendors/people will leave. The most consistent advice we got about Carnaval was “Be careful with your stuff, and kiss everybody.”

One of the most interesting things we witnessed was at the Jardim Botânico bloco, which stretched on for probably a mile. A child (sometimes people bring their kids) got lost. The men on top of the car playing music (this happens at all of them, picture below. Brazilians only listen to live music, or recordings of live performances, so people sang from on top of the cars as well) stopped the entire bloco and had everyone get on their knees until the child was found. Everyone complied and was quiet, and when they found the child only a few minutes later, everyone cheered. I think this shows a little bit of the wonderful Brazilian spirit.

It was very easy to make Brazilian friends as many conversations start with “você não e brasileira!” Brazilians are really encouraging with the language learning – you can say one word in Portuguese and they’ll be like “You know EVERYTHING!” Ubers/taxi rides are also great opportunities for language practice – our taxi driver home from the Sambadrome had actually been a drummer in the one the night before.

On Monday night we went to the Sambadrome!!! The samba schools each have an hour to perform and 6-7 perform in one night, starting around 9:30. We didn’t know much about it going in, and they include a lot of political/social commentary. Some of the themes that we saw were religion, the Amazon burning, the architecture of Brasilia, and a circus-themed one – not sure what this one represented as by the time it came on it was already 2am and I was quite exhausted. When the dancers finish, some of them came out to join their friends and family in the stands who would bring them a change of clothes and snacks and watch the rest of the schools perform. Others head to the camarotes, which are clubs underneath the stands for each school, and special guests are able to watch the parade from there at the ground level.

On Wednesday we hiked Christ the Redeemer. This was the most fun hike I have ever done – it was about two hours up through the Tijuca forest and included lots of scrambling and parts where you had to hold on to a metal chain to get up. We saw wild monkeys and a toucan on the way down. From the top, you have a fantastic view of Rio, Sugarloaf Mountain (Pão de Açucar), the beaches, hills, etc., and it was surreal to stand under Cristo since you can see him from so many parts of Rio. I would advise anyone who goes to Rio to do this hike, I’ll do it with you!

There are so many neighborhoods and places in Rio I wasn’t able to get to because of the Carnaval madness, so as I return to Curitiba I’m feeling extra grateful for my placement and having a large airport just 30 minutes away. I am sure there will be many, many other visits, but for now I’m excited to have a bit of time to settle.

Tchau!! xx

Olá! We are finishing up our first week in Curitiba!

Lauren, my co, and I were able to meet our host professor and finally see UTFPR and learn a little more about what we’ll be doing. We will each be teaching 2-3 hour long conversation clubs a week, plus five or so “courses” that we design ourselves/choose the topic of. These are all extension classes; students who attend a certain number of hours will receive a certificate. They are very realistic about the fact that only a very small number of students will achieve this, and that many more students will come at the beginning before their lives get crazy throughout the semester. We can also get pulled into more traditional language classes to lend a hand as professors need. Lauren and I are also allowed to audit any classes we want (with the same expectations that ETA’s always start the classes and never make it to the end) so we’ll be taking Portuguese for speakers of foreign languages and possibly a Brazilian culture class.

The school itself is beautiful, it’s on a very busy street but gated and still has a campus which is largely open-air and partly outside. On Thursday, we were introduced to all of the professors we would be working with. We are really excited!! Our only task for the next two weeks is to start thinking about topics we might like to teach, and enjoy Carnaval.

Aside from that, we are exploring Curitiba. It’s beautiful and also massive – so I feel like I haven’t seen much yet aside from exploring our current neighborhood, Batel, and the area around my university in Centro. Yesterday we tried the public transportation for the first time, which so far seems much better than that of Boston, and were able to see the Jardim Botanico and a neighborhood called Cristo Rei. Curitiba is known for it’s urban planning. The current mayor of Curitiba is the one who designed the public transportation, and they keep re-electing him – every few years he has to sit out an election though so he doesn’t break any rules about how often he is mayor.

Everyone we have met here has been extremely warm in Brazilian fashion, which has been wonderful as we settle in and struggle to find housing for the rest of these nine months. The Curitiba accent is taking some getting used to, though – native Curitibanos don’t pronounce the t’s and d’s that I love so much about Portuguese (i.e., boa tarde would be pronounced boa tard). It’s faster and a lot harder to understand, so I went from feeling confident in São Paolo to not so much here. It’ll take some time, and with most people it’s been fine!

Curitiba is different than what most people think of as “Brazil” – which is taking some getting used to for one of my co’s who has been to Brazil before and some of the other ETA’s placed in the south. The Afro-Brazilian experience and culture is what is widely known as Brazilian, but the south, which was colonized by the Dutch and Germans, is still Brazil. Tomorrow I am heading to Rio for 5 days for Carnaval (!!!!) and am very excited to see a different way of living/some of the most famous and beautiful parts of Brazil.

See you after Carnaval! 😉 Tchau tchau!